Middle Age continued
TIM: I think there's a syndrome of younger gays being suspicious of older gays. Younger gays have been bought and sold on the open market so perhaps such thinking is justified. But when an older gay simply wishes to meet a younger one, his success greatly depends on his approach and the environment they are both in. Generally, I don't think younger gays are hostile to their older brothers.
JSN: Pursuing the age relationships a little further, do you think that younger gays take advantage of middle-aged gays?
TOM: Not really. If someone wants to play a sugar daddy to a younger gay, good for both of them What I think is destructive is a good person who "uses" an older gay without defining the relationship.
JOY I really can't recall any experiences that I personally have known of where a younger gay takes advantage of an older one. I think it's a rare thing.
TIM: I think younger people taking advantage of older ones is generally true due to our youthoriented society. I don't believe, however, that this is soley a function of being gay. In straight society as well, younger people are generally more aggressive and older persons just don't fight back. JSN: How do you feel about the gay liberation movement?
TOM: I don't think about it too much, one way or the other. Its major harmful aspect seems to be the overwhelming need to promote gay people as a minority. I think this sets gays apart from the society at large instead of including them. The good aspects of the movement are fighting housing, job discrimination. Frankly, I would prefer keeping our subculture to ourselves. The straight population would be turned off by steam baths, cruising, etc. In terms of image such exposure could be harmful to gays. I also don't think gay people want to be stared at or dissected. JOY: I think that gay liberation is one of the best things that ever happened to gay people. It was much harder being gay a few years ago. Like
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some kind of criminals, we had to hide in a downstairs bar just to relax with our friends. But now the law protects our rights and it's much better. Theoretically, the movement is fine, and generally, I support it. It has humanitarian goals, but needs more in-group development and universal aims. There are too many "kooky" people doing too many "kooky" things, (moderates vs. radicals.) If the movement fails, it will be due to a lack of solidarity.
JSN: Has your homosexuality ever interfered with your career advancements?
TOM: I've never had any problems. Assumptions may be made, but they haven't had any direct influence. JOY: In 1971 I lost a good job because I was gay. My boss accused me of being gay from gossip by my fellow employees. He said he didn't want any perverts working for him. It was an unhappy and frustrating situation.
TIM: As far as I've been able to determine, being gay has not affected my career promotions.
JSN: Do you try to pass as straight? TOM: No. I always try to be myself. asked, I will tell the truth. JOY:
If I'm
At times I pass as straight for matters of politeness and respect, and also because of particular occasions.. But I would tell the truth if asked if I were gay. TIM: No.
JSN: Finally, I'd like to ask a question related to sexism. Do you think that society should have ideals of physical beauty?
TOM: I think most of us can separate what is real from what is artificial. But, generally, we are conditioned with what is beautiful from the mass concepts of beauty that
media. we'll always have
will continually change. Look at Streisand, Goldie Hawn, or Mona Lisa.
Even my I think
JOY! Physical ideals will never go away. Christian dad kept pictures of nude women. it's harmless. I myself enjoy looking at people with nice builds.
TIM: I believe we should have ideals of physical beauty. Everyone sees people differently. The Madison Avenue type of beauty (cosmesis,) is artificial and gives one a myopic view of the world around him. Real beauty exists in all parts of an individual in his organs, his psyche, and his social selfall of which are integrated into one being. When one is happy with himself and not frantic, he is beautiful. Page 10